Sweep out any thoughts about spring cleaning

Riley Hoffman, staff writer

As spring rolls around the corner, people begin to talk about all the things they can do because the weather is warming up. Now that it’s finally breaking our freezing 60-degree winter, people are taking the opportunity to do all the things the weather formerly restricted them from doing like bringing the guns out, sneezing because of allergies instead of the flu and everyone’s favorite, spring cleaning.

I don’t think I know a single person, save my grandmother and shoe closet, that actually cleans anything especially well just because of the change in season. If anything, the start of spring makes me want to get outside and completely ignore the lake of clothing and such that covers my bedroom floor. I cannot even fathom why someone would want to spend time going through the same monotonous task they could have done all winter, now in humidity and high allergy season.

What are you even supposed to do for spring cleaning? I get that people feel the need to start anew, but everyone said the same thing about New Year’s resolutions two months ago, and look how many people keep those up.

Have you ever even tried cleaning in spring? Sorry to burst your bubble, but the woodland critters aren’t coming out to help you hang your linens in the yard. Instead you get the spiders coming out and laying eggs of future heart attacks in your shower-head. Interestingly enough, the warm weather is not only liked by humans, but also just about every other animal under the sun.

Good luck cleaning out your wardrobe too, because I’m sure living in Carlsbad your closet fills up with heavy clothing to keep you from developing hypothermia in the harsh Siberian-like winters. There is no way the same jeans and t-shirt will work when the weather is breezy instead of just cold enough to warrant a sweatshirt.

Be sure to bust out all the heavy duty cleaning equipment, because with spring break coming up, your house is likely to stay spick and spam, without even a chance of a mess.

Yes, keeping your space clean is probably a good thing, but who honestly cares now that the beach is fully beckoning the return of local beach bums? So be sure to get outside, catch some rays and smell the roses, but certainly don’t waste any of this perfect weather on cleaning.