Why weren’t you asked to formal?

Photoillustration.+

Jessica Streich

Photoillustration.

It’s the week of formal and everyone and their mother has been asked to the dance…except you. You are sitting at home alone, stuffing your face with ice cream, wallowing in self-pity and listening to Drake, the sensitive-guy artist of your choice.

Everyone else is gearing up for the big night this weekend and posting their clever formal proposal pictures all over the internet. Meanwhile, you don your fanciest turtleneck and sweater vest ¬†belting out the chorus of “Hold On, We’re Going Home” to an audience made up exclusively of stuffed animals, but even the look in your favorite teddy bear’s eyes tells you what a loser you are.

You stop, eat more ice cream and wonder to yourself why you weren’t asked to formal and have been reduced to a Drake-impersonating stuffed animal entertainer.

Is it because you’re dull? Are you unattractive or unfriendly? Is it because you have a tendency to wear turtlenecks and sing to stuffed animals? Possibly.

Most likely, though, it’s because you just weren’t fortunate enough to get asked, because, like all school-related dances, it’s hit or miss on whether you get asked or not.

Chances are, there was someone out there who was considering asking you who chickened out or just didn’t want to go through the trouble. It’s unlikely that nobody considered you worthy of taking to formal, it’s just that they weren’t confident enough in themselves to make that move in asking, even if it was just as friends.

So don’t get too down on yourself if you weren’t asked this year because maybe the person who asked you may not have even been the person you wanted. Maybe she would have been a total nightmare to spend a night with and your stuffed animals will keep you better company. She could have even ended up being a witch so it’s a good thing you didn’t get mixed up with that. Think of all the embarrassment and awkwardness you saved yourself by not being asked.

Also, for anyone who’s gone off the deep end and is now on their worst behavior over this issue, remember that you’re saving money on tickets, on a formal outfit and dinner. You may not appeal to a certain subset of girls, but you will¬†save your money and get a nice, early bedtime.

This is the one dance of the year where the girls ask the guys so if your stressing out about not getting a date to formal, you’ll have way more chances to get yourself one in the future. So, as you spend Saturday night on your own, remember that even Drake “Started from the Bottom” and that when it comes to prom and homecoming your fate is in your own hands.