Go To Prom…It’s The Bomb

Go To Prom...It's The Bomb

Ryan Eason, staff writer

April and May mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. For some, it means the approach of the ambiguous high school anti-heroes known as AP tests. For others, it means showers that bring consequential flowers. But in the lives of most high schoolers, it implies that four letter word which stimulates the imagination of the expertly social and aggravates many others into a fit of practiced apathy. P-R-O-M.

Whether you have been planning this night since the first time you saw Marty McFly play “Johnny B. Goode” at his mom’s prom or have rejected the idea since that very same moment, if you are an upperclassman, doubt has surely seeped into your mind by now and whispered to you the fateful question.

“Should I go to prom?”

In the opinion of this reporter, the clear answer is yes.

I hate to bring attention to the dreaded acronym, but unless an inordinate amount of money goes into medical research over the next few years, you do in fact only live once. Which implies that you need to take advantage of rare opportunities. Going to prom is one of these rare opportunities.

It will seem like no more than a blink of an eye before the only social events we encounter will be B.I.N.G.O at your bridge partner’s house. And when you plant yourself on her Vaseline-stenched couch all those years from now, your mind will rest easy knowing when you had the opportunity to dance and laugh with friends in your prime, you did.

It wouldn’t have to go perfectly. In fact, I’m fairly certain there has never been a perfect prom in the history of humankind. Even Adam and Eve’s prom was ruined (by the way, don’t take any apples offered to you). But the experience of prom is a time-honored tradition, and that in itself will make it memorable.

Maybe it will rain on you. You will remember that. Maybe your dress will rip, every man’s prom nightmare. You will remember that. Maybe you will open up the trunk of your car and a naked man will beat you with a crowbar. You will remember that. And I can promise, by the time Ethel has told you five times the story of her grandson capturing a squirrel with his bare hands, you will look back at those memories with the warmest smile lips can produce.

Part of being teenagers in the height of our energy and youthful enthusiasm is making memories, period. Whether the memories are good or bad is due in no small part to circumstances beyond our control. A bad memory is still a memory; a point in your life that you can look back on and say, “Hey. I remember that moment. That was living. That was life.” And life is nothing to avoid. Don’t evade the night because of a fear of financial concerns and of social awkwardness. Staying at home may be comfort, but there is nothing to learn from a night spent on tumblr.

But prom.

You’ll remember that.

And if moolah is a problem, do something else that’s fun and different. Pull up a chair and sit on the sidewalk of El Camino Real with a sign that says, “Honk if you caught Kony”. Go to a Padres game and try to start the wave during “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”. Or even go to a homeless shelter and serve someone who never had an opportunity to go to prom.

But Netflix is not, has never been, and never will be an acceptable date for prom.