Blame it on the moon


Tyler White

The blood moon gave John a good excuse to run through the streets without a shirt on.

Socrates Kanetakis, Podcast Editor

On a vibrant Homecoming night, our rebellious group eluded the annual school rave and our  football team’s “flashy” defeat and spent our money on a rather enjoyable and cheap dinner instead. Our budget-stricken meal consisted of honey-buns and pot-stickers, but my girlfriend and I decided to go off-hand and have take-out-sushi instead. Fifteen minutes into waiting on our sushi, we received our order. Thankfully for my girlfriend’s “gut feeling” (supernatural intuition she calls it), we checked to see if our order was right…It wasn’t. Once we gave it back to be corrected, the store’s manager told us something that stroke me as amazingly… amazing.

“I’m sorry, it must have been the blood moon.”

The wrong order and the store’s incapability of substituting it with the correct one was not what annoyed me that night, but finger-pointing an extraterrestrial grey boulder for a human mistake appalled me.

Superstition has been trendy  for millenniums and we as a species have also significantly improved it. From fearing to walk under a black cat to classics like fearing the number 13. The specific fear has reached such extent that some office building constructors remove the number from elevator boards and signs and jump from 12th to 14th floor.

The moon and its new paint-job has been linked with transmitting a peculiar disease to humans.  Some of its reported symptoms apparently include giving stupefied excuses, insomnia, bank robberies, tsunamis, rape and also an unexplained rise in some church’s income. Now the fourth symptom baffled me even more than the others, but luckily, through the wisdom of pastor John Hagee of the Cornerstone Church in San Antonio, Texas, I got a clearer idea for what causes these unforeseen acts of kindness. In his newest book, “Four Blood Moons” which is now on sale including his DVD exclusive and soundtrack (products sold separately), Father Hagee “shines some light” on the Blood Moon hysteria.

“For some it signals a certain foreboding. Something is about to change,” Hagee said in his book. “God uses the sun, moon and stars to send signals to us on the earth.”

I was relieved to discover that the Moon was not the conspirator against my exquisite eastern meal. Frankly, I didn’t believe the store manager’s excuse in the first place anyways. It was God himself now, manipulating the moon’s color to send me a sign of change. The only change that occurred that night was that I received avocado rolls instead of shrimp rolls (avocado rolls are quite splendid as I discovered). This undermining “change” made me doubt divine involvement in all this.

I am left to believe that the mistake must have been human and probably originated from the kitchen. It might have just been an accident really.

Or the blood moon…